It’s that time again. A time I dread. Time for reassessment. Or am I the only one who hates filling these out? Answering all sorts of questions about my child’s ability on a 0 to 3 scale. I always walk away feeling like a bad mom.
For example in this questionnaire it was asking if my son puts his dishes in the dishwasher. I know he should. He is probably perfectly capable, but does he do it independently without any reminders from me? Does he do it at all? No. But I bet if I put a lot of time and energy into him, if I were a better mom, he totally would.
Can he tie his shoes? No. Again he is 8 years old for crying out loud. He should be able to tie his shoes. They even spent weeks working on tying shoes this summer at therapy and he still can’t (won’t?) tie his shoes. If I were a better mom I would work with him on tying his shoes and he wouldn’t be wearing flip-flops in January (Hallelujah for a mild Indiana winter!).
Realistically I know I only have so much energy and somewhere in the back of my head I know if he were a “normal” kid teaching him to do all these things would be easier. But it is hard to remember it while filling out bubble after bubble on these assessment tests. I am just glad I only have to do it once a year or so 😫
And as if completing the assessment wasn’t depressing enough, I know I will get the results back in a couple weeks. The results always bring mixed emotions. On the one hand when you see in the results that your child speaks with the sentence structure of a 4 yo (the results of his speech evaluation this summer) it makes you want to cry. It can be so discouraging to see it in black and white on paper. On the other hand the blessings of the assessment is sometimes I can start thinking all Mr Rockstar’s struggles are in my head. Mr Rockstar is a totally normal kid who has been misdiagnosed. Again if I was a better mom he wouldn’t be delayed at all and would never have these huge meltdowns! But then I see the results of his assessment showing he only understands unspoken inferences at the level of a 4 yo despite being 8 years old (another result of the summer speech eval) and I can’t help thinking these results contribute to the day to day I live with, I see, I handle. I can’t help feeling these results contribute to why I don’t have the energy to tackle teaching/training him to put his dishes in the dishwasher or tie his shoes. In reality, it makes me feel pretty awesome that he is finally reading! after years of hard work as his teacher. So maybe these assessments aren’t so bad after all. Hang in there mommas. It isn’t fast or easy but we do our best and it pays off in the long run. So for today I am filling out yet another assessment.